I'll post again soon.  Really.

Red Dress.  It has ruching or something on the shoulders.  Needs to be cut off and hemmed, but that's all.

Paisley dress.  Also needs to be made shorter.  Belt added.

Vest.  Looks much better not with this sweater.  lol.

For instance - here's me wearing the vest over a blue dress at Brown Egg.

This morning I woke up to a crazy message from my ex.  Ugh.  She thinks Nicole and I are trying to start some drama.  It's upsetting to me to think that someone is saying I said things that I didn't say.  But that's life I guess.  I need to just put it out of my mind.  We keep going back and forth between being cool and not cool.  I just need to know that she's making payments on the credit card that's also in my name and that the dogs that used to be our dogs are not starving and are getting their shots.  I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids with someone who you separate from and really dislike.  I'm so lucky that I have Nicole.  I never have to go through stuff like this ever again. 

A friend of mine told me that she always thought my ex wasn't right for me.  Her intuition told me she was going to mess with me.  I wish she would have let me in on this nugget of knowledge maybe.. a year ago?  lol. 

The hard truth about it is once we were engaged it never felt right.  My ex cheated on me and I took her back.  We got closer after that.  She worked hard to regain my trust.  Then one day six months after she'd cheated, she spent an entire day that we were on a date in Branson texting another girl things like, 'I'm hanging out with this girl all day but I don't want to be.  I wish I could see you.'  She never told that other girl she had a girlfriend.  I was crushed that she would do something like that again.  But rather than be a grown up and leave her, rather than have some self respect, two days later we got engaged.  I think I thought having that commitment would keep it from happening again.  But then things starting feeling weird.  We moved and I felt uncomfortable.  I would look at my engagement ring and want to take it off.  I didn't want to kiss her.  She just looked ugly to me.  Then, worst thing ever, I became close friends with someone else and started having feelings for this new person.  It made me realize that I didn't love my fiance anymore.  And so, I broke up with her.  What happened after that is a big, huge mess of fighting and lying and me being the bad guy and her trying to get back at me.

There's more to the story than this.  It's much more complicated than I can even say.  But this is the story from my point of view.  Her story is completely different.  Her story is that I broke up with her to sleep with my friend rather than trying to work things out between us.  And while those things did happen, that was never my reasoning to break up.

Okay, I needed to hash this out a little and now I'm done.  I just want all this to be over.  But I have to talk to her and see her.  It sucks.  If I could sever all ties with her I would in a heartbeat.  She's just not even someone I want to be friends with anymore.  Not even acquaintances.  She's horrible and vindictive and mean.  She says it's my fault, I think, for breaking her heart.  But not everyone has it in them to be so awful to another person, no matter how badly you feel they treated you.

 

First vlog of the year.  Hopefully not the last!

Thursday night, I played my first serious real rock show at the Outland Ballroom.  I killed it.  Performing like that was amazing.  It was the best time I've had in so long.















Later in the night, I went in the bathroom with Nicole to hold the door for her.  It was a ridiculous ghetto bathroom with tons of stuff written on the bathroom walls.  It took her forever.  She knocked on the door for me to let go, pushed it open, and pointed to the door.  This was there.





I said, "Are you serious?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you serious?"
And she said, "Yes."

Then she got on one knee, in that bathroom, and asked me to marry her.  I said yes.  She gave me her great grandmother's ring.  She's never even shown anyone the ring before.

People say, "How do you know?"
Everyone says, "When it's right, you just know."
I always thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard until I met Nicole. I just know.  I know she is perfect for me and we're perfect together.  I have never been so happy in all my life.